Life, thoughts, anything

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Sep 1

agelfeygelach:

armouredswampert:

agelfeygelach:

little-yogi:

It’s a cute little thing though.

Sometimes it is hard to remember that owls are incredibly dangerous predators seen by cultures throughout  the world as ill omens. Especially when they look like toasted marshmallows.

My boss once described them as flying pillows filled with seething hatred.

Further confirming that owls are the avian equivalent of cats.

wtfevolution:

"I am such an idiot."
"What do you mean, evolution?"
"I made animals that court each other, and make beautiful love; I made animals that protect each other and raise their offspring together and mate for life. But apparently I was just being naive. Apparently none of those things actually matter to anyone.”
"Whoo boy. Did genetic drift stop calling you back again?"
"Maybe, instead of cuddling after they mate, one of these praying mantises should just eat the other one’s head off and put it out of its misery.”
"You seem a little angry."
"Love is dead."

wtfevolution:

"I am such an idiot."

"What do you mean, evolution?"

"I made animals that court each other, and make beautiful love; I made animals that protect each other and raise their offspring together and mate for life. But apparently I was just being naive. Apparently none of those things actually matter to anyone.”

"Whoo boy. Did genetic drift stop calling you back again?"

"Maybe, instead of cuddling after they mate, one of these praying mantises should just eat the other one’s head off and put it out of its misery.”

"You seem a little angry."

"Love is dead."

wtfevolution:

Sometimes evolution has terrifying fever dreams where everything is beautiful but nothing makes any sense. Shapes and colors appear and disappear and rearrange themselves like mad ghosts, and nothing ends up quite where it’s supposed to be. What do these dreams mean? Evolution doesn’t know. But when it wakes up in the morning, it makes some really weird-ass birds. 

wtfevolution:

Sometimes evolution has terrifying fever dreams where everything is beautiful but nothing makes any sense. Shapes and colors appear and disappear and rearrange themselves like mad ghosts, and nothing ends up quite where it’s supposed to be. What do these dreams mean? Evolution doesn’t know. But when it wakes up in the morning, it makes some really weird-ass birds. 

wtfevolution:

This pelican looks like a urinal. Go home, evolution, you are drunk.

wtfevolution:

This pelican looks like a urinal. Go home, evolution, you are drunk.

wtfevolution:

Ctenophores. ‘Cause sometimes evolution only feels like making the mouth. 

wtfevolution:

Ctenophores. ‘Cause sometimes evolution only feels like making the mouth. 

wtfevolution:

"Hey, evolution, remember when you tried making that fish with paired butt fins?”
"I don’t want to talk about that."
"Why not? I thought it was an awesome idea.”
"Shut up."
"No, seriously. I think you should bring those back. Call them ‘feathery buttfish’ or something."
"It’s been 370 million years, okay? Cut me a break."
"‘Magnificent ass-flappers.’”
"I hate you."

wtfevolution:

"Hey, evolution, remember when you tried making that fish with paired butt fins?”

"I don’t want to talk about that."

"Why not? I thought it was an awesome idea.”

"Shut up."

"No, seriously. I think you should bring those back. Call them ‘feathery buttfish’ or something."

"It’s been 370 million years, okay? Cut me a break."

"‘Magnificent ass-flappers.’”

"I hate you."

wtfevolution:

From an evolutionary standpoint, reproducing is the single most important thing you can do in your time on this planet. In fact, it’s the only thing that really matters at all. In light of that, evolution has taken pains to ensure that reproduction is always as pleasant, easy and undisturbing a process as possible.

Ha! Just kidding, of course. It’s usually totally horrifying.

wtfevolution:

"New idea!"
"What now, evolution?"
"Well, I had such good luck with the handfish—what if I made a handlobster?”
"Handlobster? That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.”
"Come on! It just takes a few little mutations. Look, I’ll do one now.”
"That’s hideous."
"I think I like it."
-
Image credit: Richard Figueiredo, F/V Leah; courtesy Maine State Aquarium

wtfevolution:

"New idea!"

"What now, evolution?"

"Well, I had such good luck with the handfish—what if I made a handlobster?”

"Handlobster? That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.”

"Come on! It just takes a few little mutations. Look, I’ll do one now.”

"That’s hideous."

"I think I like it."

-

Image credit: Richard Figueiredo, F/V Leah; courtesy Maine State Aquarium

wtfevolution:

"Happy new year, evolution! Do you have any resolutions?"
"Yeah. I decided that everything I make is going to look completely normal from now on."
"Wow, really? You mean like this northern fulmar bird here? He seems lovely.”
"Yeah. Hey, just don’t get within like ten feet of that guy, okay, or he might projectile vomit neon orange half-digested fish oil in your face.”
"Never change."

wtfevolution:

"Happy new year, evolution! Do you have any resolutions?"

"Yeah. I decided that everything I make is going to look completely normal from now on."

"Wow, really? You mean like this northern fulmar bird here? He seems lovely.”

"Yeah. Hey, just don’t get within like ten feet of that guy, okay, or he might projectile vomit neon orange half-digested fish oil in your face.”

"Never change."

wtfevolution:

"I miss dinosaurs."
"Evolution, we’ve talked about this."
"But I miss them.”
"You turned them into birds, remember? It was the best you could do, given the circumstances.”
"It’s not the same."
"I know. I’m sorry."
"Can I at least make these cassowaries 50 feet tall?"
"Come on, you know that size didn’t work out so well before."
"Six feet, then? And over 100 pounds?"
"Yeah, that sounds better."
"And can I put weird prehistoric crests on their heads?"
"I don’t see why not."
"And can they slash people’s throats with their dagger claws?”
"Sure, pal, if that would make you feel better."
"I think it would. Thanks for understanding."
"You got it, evolution. Anytime."
Source: Wikimedia Commons / Bjørn Christian Tørrissen

wtfevolution:

"I miss dinosaurs."

"Evolution, we’ve talked about this."

"But I miss them.”

"You turned them into birds, remember? It was the best you could do, given the circumstances.”

"It’s not the same."

"I know. I’m sorry."

"Can I at least make these cassowaries 50 feet tall?"

"Come on, you know that size didn’t work out so well before."

"Six feet, then? And over 100 pounds?"

"Yeah, that sounds better."

"And can I put weird prehistoric crests on their heads?"

"I don’t see why not."

"And can they slash people’s throats with their dagger claws?”

"Sure, pal, if that would make you feel better."

"I think it would. Thanks for understanding."

"You got it, evolution. Anytime."

Source: Wikimedia Commons / Bjørn Christian Tørrissen

cultureincart:

The cute little monk in Xichan Temple, Fuzhou, southeast China’s Fujian Province.

worthy-fallen-angel:

sheeptopus:

impala-dalecki:

bealli62:

spikezombie:

cigurettes:

tumblr is like egypt nobody understands us and we worship cats

And our language is images.

Heiro-GIF-ics

Ok can we talk about how masterful that last pun was

We also believe in the supernatural

image

thehappyfangirl:

24-alpha-24:

agentotter:

doctorscienceknowsfandom:

Some call me … Tim.

OMG OKAY THIS IS GOLD. The pallas cat at my local zoo apparently does this, and there’s a little sort of kid-level viewing window into its habitat, and the keeper in that area told me that the pallas cat likes to hide beneath the window. So when the kids press their faces up to the glass, searching the exhibit for the animal, the pallas cat suddenly pops up directly in front of their faces and scares the ever-loving shit out of them. Pallas cat: recreationally scares children. Tell your friends.

I AM FREAKING CRYIN’

IT GOT BETTER

thehappyfangirl:

24-alpha-24:

agentotter:

doctorscienceknowsfandom:

Some call me … Tim.

OMG OKAY THIS IS GOLD. The pallas cat at my local zoo apparently does this, and there’s a little sort of kid-level viewing window into its habitat, and the keeper in that area told me that the pallas cat likes to hide beneath the window. So when the kids press their faces up to the glass, searching the exhibit for the animal, the pallas cat suddenly pops up directly in front of their faces and scares the ever-loving shit out of them. Pallas cat: recreationally scares children. Tell your friends.

I AM FREAKING CRYIN’

IT GOT BETTER

(Source: evarren)

iraffiruse:

How puppies help when you’re sick.